Tuesday, March 26, 2013


Why are Reese's peanut butter eggs SO much better than Reese's peanut butter ANYTHING ELSE?

And speaking of that, why does Easter candy time have to come so close to spring break, a time where we just might be headed someplace warm, and we just might have to face our bodies, in all their winter padded pale, in a bathing suit? Easter candy, you mock us with your..."Hey, check me out! I'm yummy! I have practically 50% more peanut butter than the average Reese's product. It makes me protein rich. A health food practically. I know, summer is right around the corner, but don't you want a final hurrah? And who are we kidding, really, you will keep on eating right into summer too, and BBQ, and ice cream, and daily afternoon beverages...dig in sister!"

I suppose it is better than back in days of young children. The bunnies were the worst. Especially the solid ones. The kids didn't really even want them, except perhaps, IF they could work their teeth through them, the ears. And then the rest would be there, stuck to the Easter grass, taunting us, calling to us, until we caved, and ate them. Or maybe we got creative, and melted them down. Made ourselves a little individual afternoon fondue? And then we wondered why we didn't fit into our shorts.

I guess it is what it is. And my writing today is simply to admit to the shame. Or perhaps you could say it is to admit defeat. I caved. There was one PB egg up in the cupboard. I was trying to avoid it by putting it there, out of sight and out of mind. And it was working until I saw it while putting dishes away. Then I ate it. And truth be told, if there had been another up there, I'd probably have eaten that one too.

That'll teach me to do the stupid dishes.

Happy Freaking Easter.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Me and Laura just a FEW years later...


So, I started reading These Happy Golden Years a few weeks ago. I know it is a complete infraction of the "Laura Ingalls Wilder Fan Club" not to have read it already, and obviously I lied in third grade when I said I had, in fact, read all the books. Nonetheless, I have now read it and that is that.

As a young girl, as much as I loved the thought of reading all the Laura books, some just did not appeal to my 9 year old self. Farmer Boy, obviously,as a boy hating young girl, was one. That is old news, and has been admitted before. But the further exposure at hand involves These Happy Golden Years, Laura's account of early adult life. It begins with her early teaching days, and also covers her courtship with Almonzo. As I read, though, I fully understood why I have waited. What would this book have meant to me then? And wow, it is amazing what it means to me now. Three distinct things really stuck out for me, Laura's relationship with her Pa, her thoughts on teaching, and, of course, Almonzo.

Now "the Pa thing" is a constant throughout the books. Laura loves her Ma, but her Pa, well, there is just a special bond between a girl and her Dad sometimes. I get that entirely. I have it with my dad, and I see it in Gwynn's relationship with Tim. Your "Pa" is your first love in a lot of ways, and a sounding board that is just different from your "Ma." "Ma's" tend to hug you and comfort you, "Pa's" tend to tell it a little more like it is. And, I truly believe that "Pa's" are one of the greatest influences on a girl's self confidence. I loved the quotes throughout the whole series, but particularly on page three,in the chapter Laura Leaves Home. She's nervous to set out and be a teacher, but Pa settles her with kind words of confidence...

"You've never failed yet at anything you've tried to do, have you?"

"Success gets to be a habit, like anything else a fellow (ha!) keeps on doing."

or my favorite...

"You have confidence in yourself, that's the only way to make other folks have confidence in you, but one thing you must guard against. You are so quick, flutterbudget. You are apt to act or speak first, and think afterwards. Now you must do your thinking first and speak afterwards. If you will remember to do that you will not have any trouble."

The next chapter sees her coming to terms with growing up, being the teacher, and also chronicles her struggles living as a border in the home of a clinically depressed homesteading woman. She keeps busy, working hard as best she can, but at one point, feeling overwhelmed, she stops on her walk from the school and says, out loud, to herself, "Oh Pa. I can't" I love that in that moment of weakness she calls out, and it is not to God, but to her Pa. I can think of so many times in my life I did the same. My mom was a teacher, but usually, to talk about work stuff, I go to my Dad. In fact just this year, struggling with so much that is plaguing my profession, it is my Dad who has helped me a great deal in the quest to keep on doing what I know I do best. I have had my moments this year much like Laura, saying "Oh Pa. I can't," but it is truly WITH the support of a wonderful Dad, and Mom, family and friends, that I have been able to keep calm and carry on, no matter what has been thrown my way.

And speaking of that tough school year at what feels, sometimes, like an educational testing factory, I was SO identifying with Laura at the beginning of the book where, concerning teaching, she was just figuring out how to get by. She was getting through each day, crossing off days on the calendar, making marks in her planbook. She was constantly reminding herself that she was doing it for her family, for Mary, so Mary could stay in school. Then, later in the book, she found success, she wowed during the the somewhat clueless and unannounced visit from her Superintendent which was just funny, and she gets a good job at The Perry School. As Laura described it, it was all fresh and new and full of all that a good classroom should have, all that a good classroom should be. I could so clearly picture it, and also so clearly knew while I read that part with great love and understanding, that I am right where I ought to be, doing just what I ought to do...teaching...growing children...igniting knowledge. Whatever the state thinks education should become, I know in my heart that to me, it is just the beauty and simplicity of something much like The Perry School.

And finally, Almonzo. Oh Almonzo. To have a boy who loves you, who is willing to drive through the cold and the snow on weekends for you, who lets you take the reigns sometimes, who trusts you and lets you be who you are, who gives you a garnet ring that sparkles. Well, let's just say that the parallels between Almonzo and Laura, and Tim and me are pretty darn uncanny. Yep, it's just Laura and me, a few years later. Laura, I've lived a little bit of life now. Why don't you and I get together for a cup of tea sometime because it seems, my friend, that you really have been with me all along.