All mine.

Finally went and got myself a laptop. Now comes the chore of learning how to use it. It is a different feel, for sure, typing on a laptop…and right now, quite literally, on my lap. I think I will do OK, though. I feel a little Carrie Bradshaw right this minute, and am quite loving it.
It has been my dream, for a long time, in fact ever since I was about 8, to be a writer. Once exposed to the likes of, first, Laura Ingalls Wilder, then Judy Blume, and Paula Danziger, I not only loved the written words, but the authors. I loved the fantasy of being a writer, of writing books, of creating whole worlds, multiple characters, in my head, and, then eventually, on paper. Each summer, I got a black and white “cow book” and began the task of writing my book. Most probably were discarded over the years, along with paper dolls, stuffed animals, and Barbies, but one of these cow books survives, and is a treasured possession of mine. In this one, and probably in most, I got little further than character trait outlines, and first few chapters. Because writing is work, and my work at that time was dreaming, and growning up, and playing with friends. Still inside the covers of that old composition, to me, is a little girl’s dream. There is hope. Future. Possibility. It is, quite probably, why I indulge my own daughter’s desire, at any and all time, for new notebooks. As homage, perhaps, to our shared love, our respective inner Harriet the Spys.

Well here I am, on a cusp. With a new beginning, a new notebook, my laptop. Ready to begin the task of real work. Ready to put in the BIC time…that’s “Butt in Chair”…aware that really writing, truly, is a tiring task, a lonely task, but still, at 40, a task I feel called to do. I have few or no regrets of substance in my life. I followed the career path I did out of interest, passion, and love. I still have great interest, passion and love for what I do, even with my more jaded eye, that sees and has seen the pendulum swing in education not once, twice, but a few times already. And I know my work, at this time, is to still do that job, as well as the compounded job I have, even more important, of raising my own family. But in my spare time, limited as it may be, I have always found time to write. Now I have my place. I have my new “notebook,” and I am ready to begin again. Along with blogging, to get my mind rolling, I am ready to write more seriously. And who knows, maybe a little girl’s dreams can come true.