Wastin' Time...

Felt like I was going to get so much accomplished this weekend. In fact, Tim and I made an exhaustive list on Saturday morning, knowing it was a bit ambitious, but also saying aloud to eachother not to worry, we'd get to it over the course of the WHOLE weekend. Well, here we are on Sunday evening, and I can say that truly, I have done about one and a half things that were, essentially, "mine" on the list. I, instead, spent my time wasting time.

Not that this was a problem at all.
In fact, both yesterday, and today, I feel like I totally lost track of time. Every now and again, when that happens, if you ask me, it is such a sweet escape.

Yesterday, after being up the road at my friend Mary's house for a little get together, I came home totally happy, and refreshed, and puttered around a bit while Tim napped and the kids hung in their rooms. When I looked at the clock, truly SHOCKED that it was 6:15 pm, my dinner plan to make Saurbraten was completely shot. Still, soup and grilled cheese sufficed for all, and we settled in to watch a movie with minimal kitchen cleanup. Winner winner, no fuss dinner.

Today, I stopped at Sue's house on my way to get groceries, and Gwynn played with Jillian for a while. It was so nice to kick back for a few, and talk, like we can't in our "7 minutes" at work everyday. A dragon berry lemonade and myriad topics later, I, again, was truly shocked when I looked at the clock and it was 2:30. I had lost time completely, and it was wonderful.

Life at times is so scheduled. The last two weeks at home have been hectic, like so many are. Then at work, with NYS Testing, things have been truly hellish. 6 days, 90 minutes each, over the course of 10 school days, with 9 and 10 year old children, was just plain too much. This time wastin' weekend was just what I needed even if I didn't know I needed it. Yep, Mick, sometimes, you really do get what you need.

When did it get so hard?

What I really want to know is when did a night of doing nothing become a night of cooking and cleaning up an entire meal, mowing the lawn, putting away scads of laundry, paying a couple of bills and cleaning a bathroom? When did I start seeing this as "not too much?" What did I DO with my time back in my twenties, when it was just the two of us, living in a barely two bedroom apartment with no lawn to speak of that we didn't even have the responsibility for?

All I want to do is finish the book that I have been trying to finish for the last two plus weeks, but of course those two plus weeks included parent teacher conference week at work, then vacation which we spent exploring and learning some more, in our nation's capitol.

Now were back, to work, and the routine, but the routine is also off kilter due to hours and hours of state testing that is going on in my classroom this week. And when, while we speaking of change and increase of responsibility here, did that get so out of control? I can think back to the days of 3rd grade PET testing, a one day cloze test, which was fairly innocuous, and which, quite frankly, allowed me some time to get some work done in my classroom. Now, our testing is more and more and more...about 9 hours when all is said and done this week with ELA...and I get less and less done.

Why?

Well, because I am policing the room like never before, cracking the whip on some, soothing the furrowed brow of others. It is a lesson in human sanity and tenacity and nothing else. I have been so proud of my fourth graders, for rising to the occasion, and truly doing their best. I don't know that I would have had the stamina they have had. They need to have even more for Book 3 tomorrow, the third and final task, and if you ask me, the hardest. I don't know why we ask it of them. I don't know what asking of them really does to their young minds, but yet, I, no we, labor on...and on...and on...and for what?

When did it get so hard?