Creative Writing has been suspended for September, as we creatively re-model the house!!!!! Surely reflection will come, but for now, it's sheetrock dust survival.

Ripping off the Band-Aid

     Maybe you could call it ripping off the band-aid phenomenon, but I've done 2 things I've been dreading, over the past two days, and upon further examination, I've realized that both things, dreaded as they may have been, actually made me happier. Is it akin to the dread of pulling off the band-aid paling to the relief of uncovered fresh skin? Perhaps.

     Now, I'm a teacher. I know all about school supplies, probably far more than the average person, and certainly more than I care to admit to. I truly get a rush over fresh pens, pencils, and crayons. I love a good office supply store, and, even if it dates me, I must express my continued sadness over Paper Cutter going out of business. Still, every summer, without fail, my own children remain school supply less until the last possible moment. Financially, that may be a hit, or a miss, who knows. But psychologically I can tell you exactly why it happens. It's the band-aid that must be ripped off. Buying school supplies signals the end to the bliss of summer, and also, particularly as my kids get older, the end to their time with us. Buying supplies signifies that they truly are not who they were before, and it is time to accept who they are about to become; this year 8th and 11th graders, which I am loving, but also finding hard to believe.

     Well, to continue the story, yesterday was our last day of summer vacation at home, as we always spend Labor Day Weekend at our camp. It was time to get the school supplies, and I was not feeling it. Still, Devin, Gwynn, and I hopped in the van, Devin drove, and between talk, and time, and distance, my mood lightened. We bought supplies, were really happy with what we found, got some new clothes, and sneakers, and just had a really nice day. We all commented on how pleasant it was. The ripping of the band-aid proved wise.

     Alas, though, after a running full day, and with Tim not making it home from his Superintendent's Day and Mod Football practice until close to 7, it was clear we were not making it up to camp last night. So we made a plan; BBQ and a movie last night, early to bed, and early to rise the next day to get up to camp. Early. Ugh. I could sense another band-aid moment. And today the alarm was not my friend, and I grumped and grumbled because going back to getting up early is another of my hated things about the transition back to school. But I'll tell ya, again, the band-aid approach, and a vat of coffee coffee coffee,  seems to have worked. I got up/got going/ripped it off, and am now here, enjoying a stunningly beautiful day of water, blue skies, and sunshine.

     Yep, change. Transition. It's tough, for everyone. It's tough for me. But it seems these two incidents these past two days, if I allow them, have been poised to teach me that I can handle change. I can handle transition. I can rip off the band-aid, do the dreaded thing, get back to the routine and occasional grind of the new school year, and I will, as usual, survive. Perhaps, if I let myself, I will even thrive.  

     So, for now, it's off to enjoy summer, at least for a few days. Then, come Tuesday, the band-aid comes off, but I think I am, really, ready.

All I Didn't Read in Mexico

We just got back from an epic trip to Mexico, for my brother's (finally!) wedding. And I could tell you all about it, but I must start with the fact that, while there, I did not read two books, three magazines, and a book I grabbed off the casa's "take a book/leave a book"shelf in the first hour we were there. Not a word. Not even a flip through a magazine. I moved them around a few times, and offered them up to others, but I did not read one bit.

It's not because I didn't have time to read either, I did, here and there. Our family takes a trip to the beach every year, around the same time as we went on this trip. Anticipating this trip to be much the same as our usual trip, I brought the amount of reading material that I usually take for that trip. And the trip WAS much like our beach trip. I mean, mom, even in a casa with 4 and a half baths, still had that uncanny NEED to use the bathroom when others were in there. And Dad, being the one that at least feels like he has to be in charge and responsible, really only relaxed the day before we left. Just like always. And sure we were busy with wedding stuff the first three days in particular, but there were certainly still moments when I could have read. Plenty of them.

Thing is, though, when you are allowed the pleasure of continual blue sky and endless sunshine, your own infinity edge pool, epic views of the Bahia Mujeres, Caribbean, and Cancun, it's a lot to take in. And it really never gets old. I couldn't tear my eyes away. I didn't want to read. I just wanted to BE. THERE.

Being in a foreign country, too, even "just Mexico," is a lot to process. We were not at a resort. We had rented a 4 bedroom casa, so much like our annual beach trip, grocery runs had to be made, and restaurants had to be chosen, but labels, and menus were in Spanish. Monetary exchanges had to be in pesos. Just running to the the local grocery, Cheddraui, was and ADVENTURE. From the magnetized escalator for carts, to the ATM that was only KIND OF in English, to the realization that all there was to be had was this super duper extra pasteurized boxed milk on the shelf, not the cooler case; my eyes were continually wide. Any trip, to the Cheddraui, or Playa Norte, or Tortugranja rescue facility inevitably involved two taxi rides, at 45-50 mph, with a Mexican man or woman with probable minimal English. You surrendered to being sticky, in a red, ratty, tricked out old Nissan, flying up a costal two lane road as you swerved around the hierarchy of bicycles, mopeds, golf carts, and inevitably a "perro" or two. We were just at Disneyworld in April, and let me tell you, this ride beat ANYTHING we rode there! Adventure was the name of the game, daily. Hourly. I surely didn't need to read anyone else's thoughts; ponder their existence, or life. I was out there living my own life, and at times holding on for dear life! Happily!

Who DOES that?
Me, apparently, and my incredible, crazy, whacked out wonderful family!

Yep, there was no reading because there was too much to take in. Too much to do. Too much to see. There were stories from my brother's friends, about his and Priscilla's life up to this point. There were stories of how we all had made our way to this little island we called home for a week. There were stories of how Mark and Mindy didn't die on the way back from Chichen Itza, and somehow, also got their bribe BACK from a "Mexican Policia." There were constant attempts to learn a little bit of language, and a little bit of accent, even though Geena is really more suited to Italian, and Dad, well, he shouldn't quit his day job! And, as always with us, there was FOOD! We made acquaintance with the snack magic of Rancheritos, and other salty Mexican snack foods so suited to their crappy, yet surprisingly satisfying waters, I mean beers. We ate everything from cheap tacos, to three course alfresco dinners marina side, to beautifully plated sit down meals on a patio overlooking Cancun at night, to locally sourced and prepared fish with sand under our toes. (Common thread to them all? A little vinegar...and pickled onions, who knew?)

Mom and I realized we can snorkel.
We all realized we LIKE to sip tequila.
We stood at the eastern most point of Mexico, much like we stood at the Southernmost point of the US in Key West a few years ago.

We are a traveling bunch. And we all see things in a different way, and we all experience things in our own ways, but wow, what long strange wonderful trips they have been! And my brother's wedding pushed us all out of our comfort zones, in so many ways, and I am eternally thankful to him for that. I will never forget, lying in bed the day we were leaving, at daybreak, and being so incredibly thankful, being so incredibly full of love, being so in awe that I have my very OWN sister in law now.

My teeny tiny family got a little bigger...and my heart grew...in Mexico.

July has been a whirlwind for us. All told, the family has been busy, or gone, or in some way HEAVILY occupied for 24 of the 31 days. We've not only been to Mexico, but Lansing, and Vermont. May August bring a slowdown of sorts. I think we are ready for one; need one. May I sit, and read, at least for a little while. I would be willing to drift off into someone else's story for while, but may I never tire of crafting this crazy, wonderful, wild story that is my amazing life.

"Sandalgate"

Well, I'd say Sandalgate is all but over, but it sure was an interesting run.

We had a bit of a difficulty this spring, that started when I asked Tim to go to the garage loft and get my bag of summer sandals. He came back in the house to inform me, ever so gently, that he had accidentally donated them, along with a bunch of other bags of clothes and shoes. I had a momentary freak out for sure, but then I just relaxed, and figured oh well, such is, can't change it. Then I figured someone would benefit from a bunch of nice shoes. And finally I figured that this justified a whole lot of guilt free shopping for me!

Life progressed and the spring turned out to be pretty cool, even downright cold sometimes. So I had plenty of time to shop for sandals I really liked. I took my time, and was very selective. I made close friends at Zappos. And I ended up with a collection that I am really happy with.

And as it ends up, by chance, I got rid of a bunch of old stuff, but replaced it with only high quality good. And ya know what? I wore all of those new shoes all through the last two, stressful, weeks of school, and amazingly my feet didnt hurt!

Yeah, Sandalgate kinda turned into a good thing...a life lesson through footwear if you will. I learned that if you let go of the old it can make room for the new. I learned that giving something good to the world comes back to you. I learned that I am old, and I need better footwear. That's just the way it is.

To wrap up,today, I found a final shoe item I was looking for. Replacement flip flops that I needed...yes, needed..nice ones...Reef. It's funny, too, because up until today I could not find these anywhere except obscure sellers online. But today, I NEEDED flip flops. I jammed my pinkie toe last night, and purple and blue bruisey me was not fitting in to any other kind of footwear. I walked into Bass Pro Shop with Tim, and there they were.

More lessons I suppose, this time in the age old life sends us what we need when we need it.

Life has sent me shoes, life has sent me flip flops.
SUMMER has BEGUN!

What a Beautiful Mess?

For the second day in a row I am doing an extra load of unnecessary laundry. I am doing this because I can't seem to keep MYSELF from making messes. My parents used to always talk about having to change into "play clothes" after school. Maybe I ought to start to do the same! I never worried much about it with my own kids, as they just played, all day, at the sitter, or at school, and then at home. They wore easy care fabrics, and no one really cared how their clothes looked due to their cute little smiles. Nightly, I'd throw their stuff in the wash. Well, let's be frank, after a day at work, somedays, I'm just not in smiley mode. So guess that means "play clothes?" For myself? Really? AT 43?

Now if I wear a dress, and even more so, tights or stockings to work, then, yes, by the time I get home I am ready to change. And usually I do change, into something more comfy, before I get into my evening routine of house work, running kids, homework, and dinner prep and cleanup. But yesterday, and today, I had on cute sleeveless tops and capris. Nothing too uncomfy about those, and I figured why not, for a change, go through the evening continuing to look cute, as the clothes were eventually headed to the washer anyways.

Yesterday brought a bit of rain, right at the time we were headed to pick Gwynn up from a softball dinner. When the rain started, Tim was perfectly happy to go, alone, but I said, "Nah, I'll come along to sit in the AC in the car, and to run in and say HI, and THANKS to her coach." On our way there the rain became torrential. As we arrived, again, Tim was perfectly happy to get out, alone, and to go in, but I said, "Nah, I have my work clothes on still anyways, I'll just run, get wet, and that's that." Little did I know "running in" would also involve tripping and "sliding" into "home front porch." Only me. Only me.

Then today, I was still in my work clothes, and making "clean out the fridge" soup. I set the timer to 10 minutes for the final simmer to cook some noodles. I said, "Hmmm, while that simmers maybe I will put all of these spices away." Then PLOP, a bottle slipped out of my hand, and into the boiling soup, splashing all over the front of my comfy work outfit. Into the laundry room I went, again. Sputtering, storming, scrubbing. Again. Only me. Only me.

So this weekend, I need to shop. Perhaps for some new work clothes, as the jury is still out on today's shirt. But more certainly for some "play clothes." And perhaps I should also shop for a writing manual to figure out how to ease up on use of quotation marks - but that's another blog...

Hop On the Bus, Gus

So we bought a new van.

No, wait,change that. We bought a new van!!! We pick it up today, and it's brand new!!! And it's red!!! And as uncool as a van may be, we got this one for a great price, and I am totally pumped about it!!!

Not every member of the family feels the same way.

Devin was really helpful this time around in the process of shopping for a new car. He is really into cars, like every newly permitted 16 year old. But he is also way into the nuts and bolts of cars as well, partly due to hanging with my dad, and partly due to the show " Top Gear." When we first started the process of looking, I thought I wanted an SUV. I also thought I wanted bells, whistles, leather heated seats, and integrated communication systems. I had a long list, of wants.

Devin, in his very much appreciated desire to help out, dutifully asked the right question of me, as the purchaser, "What do you want?" I gave him that long list of wants, and he found the cars, along with the feature packages that had the greatest value, and you know, it's all about the package.

I'm sure you, dear reader, can see where this is going. Yep, we are full speed ahead, crash is imminent.

Fast forward to actual shopping. Try fitting a family of four, with three members close to or exceeding 6 feet tall, into a supposed large SUV. (read that Ford Explorer...huge disappointment) It doesn't work. And the third row seat? Ummm, no. I could not envision myself trying to CRAWL out of that, ever, let alone on, say, a wine tour? Suddenly it was looking like an extra large SUV. Suddenly the car that would fit us would cost 2/3 the cost of my farmhouse. Suddenly $10,000 difference turned to $20,000 difference.

Suddenly, my rational adult mind kicked in.
Need trumped want, and it was back to a van.

Tim said he saw it coming all along.
I was in denial.
And Devin, after having done so much leg work, felt dismissed.

But you know, I think the purchase ended up being a great life lesson all around.

Tim got some confirmation of his innate wisdom, once again. And if he were an "I told ya so" kinda guy, boy did he gain some leverage!

Devin saw, in action, the fact that the best laid plans stand to be changed in time, and circumstance, and practicality.

And as much as I love cars, and let me tell you, growing up my father's daughter, I DO love cars, I learned, or perhaps was reminded again, that I am not my car.

Always, I will want a reliable vehicle, that will do the job, and at this point in life in particular, the job my vehicle has is a job of hauling. A van may not be flashy, but it will get me to work, and bring me home again. It will bring home piles of groceries to keep my children growing taller and taller. It will carry all 4 of us, and our dog, to visit our families an hour an a half south. It will take the dog to the kennel, and then the 4 of us on to our traveling adventures, wherever they may end up being.

We will own this van for 8 - 10 years. It will see colleges. It will see first, maybe second, maybe even third apartments, or even first homes. Pretty hard to imagine where life might be in 10 years, but no matter what I know a van will serve us in the ways we will need it to.

It seems that sometimes, you do need to make a new plan, Stan.

Here Comes the Sun

You know, I hate to go on about the weather. I mean, realistically, there's not much you can do about it. And also, this past winter in particular, it was a bit overdone. But I have to put in one final thought I am afraid. And sad as it might be, it must be pointed out that I am putting in this final thought about winter and it is April 6! It did snow yesterday, after all.

A few days ago I received an order in the mail from LLBean. It was this cute skirt that I got a great deal on. A friend of mine obviously got the greet deal too, as she showed up in the same skirt at work, wearing it in much the same way I intended to. It looked great, but that day after work, knowing I had laundry to put away anyways, I played around in my closet a bit, and found a bunch of fun ways to wear it, one of which I wore the next day.

In the process of poking around in my closet, I also found my sweater dress. Yep, my long lost sweater dress that I had NEVER EVEN WORN in an entire winter. In fact I found a bunch of cute dresses and skirts that had just hung there this entire season. Why? I mean, in part it could be blamed on the winter blahs for sure, but really, I think it was the cold. Most days this winter it was too blustery, and too snowy, and too cold to even consider a skirt, even with tights.

Still, a sweater dress? One of those super cozy outfits? If it was too cold for that, it really must have been a polar vortex! No joke!

So all I can say is bring on the dresses. Bring on the skirts. Bring on the sandals and bring on the shorts. We head to Florida in a week, and yeah, our skin will be pasty white and dry. But it is ready for sun like it never has been before. Winter, I will not miss you at all.

Bring on the SUN!

The END

This is all ya get for a second stab at writing in March.
END March, just END, and take all the snow and cold with you.
The END.

Short

Yes, it has been repeated ad nauseam, but let's just mention again how LONG and COLD this winter has been. In a drastic attempt to counter act the long and the cold I have cut my hair. SHORT.

Some people do this to support people who lose their hair to cancer. Others donate their grown out hair for wigs. Well, I just cut it off to cheer myself up. Shallow, I know, but I am thinking it just might have worked. And a happier me is another way of doing something good for the world, just ask my husband!

For the past several weeks I have been in the doldrums, more than usual. The seasonal drag has been strong, and this girl has been struggling. All of my typical cheer up tricks had been failing. Music in the car, or on my iPod, unnecessary shopping, trashy magazines, coconut coffee, wine, the Cymbalta blanket...nothing was cutting it. Then daylight savings hit, and while we gained light in the evening, our mornings got dark again. And dark, COLD mornings make it damn hard for "not a morning girl" to get out of bed.

But today, after school, I walked in for my haircut and color appointment and said "Cut is short." And it feels good. And it is making me think I might have found spring, if not in the air, at least in my step.

"It Was The Best Day EVER!"

Snow day whirling dervish has come and gone. I know I have addressed this phenomenon before. The rush of activity at the end of a languid day. Today was a snow day, full of random possibility, which took on its own beautiful form. Still, with one responsible party of the house off at "real" work, I felt that need, around 3pm, to make it look like we hadn't wiled away the hours the ways we actually did...

-ending season 4 of Gilmore Girls

-finding a frighteningly lost necklace in the cushions of the couch, and having a small cry over the gravity of having lost it in the first place

-texting a friend, which led to the re-reading of a short memoir that has already been lovingly re-read multiple times before

-talking to my brother for over two wonderful hours

-thinking thoughts, having ideas, dreaming dreams

-trying out hair chalk 

-watching Olympic re-runs on NBC-SN and realizing how truly addicted we were/are/were

-baking cookie bars

-making homemade mac n cheese while listening to Lisa Loeb

-debating want vs need as we all updated our amazon wish lists  in the anticipation of upcoming birthday month

-braving the sledding hill again, after crashing on it this weekend

Yep, we can waste time like nobody's business, as I have shared before. But why not? I mean it's all about money and time in this life anyways, n'est pas?  And today we got some time. Not to mention, in some way you could say I made more money being off work today anyways. Being  a salaried employee, in theory a snowday off "ups" my per diem rate does it not? 

Remember the Cadillac ad that ran incessantly during the Olympics, with the guy who does the quick change into the suit, and speaks of good old American "hard work," and the acquisition of stuff? He mentions the whopping "two weeks" of vacation time he gets? Two weeks? I mean how do you even have the time to enjoy your stuff if you only have two weeks off?  I like stuff as much as the next person, but I am completely OK having less stuff, if I can have more time.  I say, take the "August off" instead, maybe even throw in a July, or a snowday here or there. Things still get done, goals and work are accomplished. Even with some leisure time, I think I still am a hard working American, and today I felt like one with a life fully lived, loved, enjoyed. Thank You, for life, for time, for snow.
It WAS the best day ever

EOS

Gwynn is recently obsessive about a lip balm called EOS...Evolution Of Smooth. It got me thinking of our day as it has had a certain EOS to it as well, and that would be Evolution Of Snowday.

Honestly, I'd say the vibe for a snowday started last night. Snow was trucking along all day, eventually canceling afternoon and evening activities, and Gwynn's basketball game as well. There was an after school lull, until just after Tim rolled in the driveway. Then snow kicked up, around 4:30, and it was that snow that just does not stop. 

We progressed with our evening, dinner, homework, and then Tim and Gwynn headed out to check things out. It was a BLIZZARD! Nearly a foot had already fallen, more was coming, but they cleared cars, and blew the drive anyways. Afterwards, all obligations for the evening done, as well as lunches and bags at the ready for the next day, we settled in for some prime time Olympics. The snow wasn't stopping, and honestly, we did stay up a little bit late...was it possible the snow would go all night? I think we all had our hopes. The evening had a serindipidelicious feel to it right to the bitter end.

Then, for me at least, was a night full of dreams.

There was a snowday in my dream.

When I dared to peek out the window in the night, it was clear that the snow was still going.

And at 5:40 or so the call came.

A snowday indeed!

The Evolution of our day began with a blissful feeling that anything was possible, but I have to say that little was accomplished, really, above the norm. And we are here, now, again, finishing dinner and watching the Olympics. But it is with the relaxed feeling of a surprise day off.

I'd say everyone should have a snowday now and again. It's good for the soul.

Q-U-I-E-T

You know, until you are a parent, I don't think you can really appreciate quiet. The blissful sound of nothingness. Of course once you are a parent, of young children at least, there are times that quiet is not a good thing. True quiet usually means someone is up to something and if you don't want a mess of grand proportions you better get up and get investigating. I remember back in the day too, when Tim and I would realize it was quiet, sometimes with the kids right underfoot, we would spell the word to each other, out loud. Q-U-I-E-T. It was a mantra of sorts. I think one of the biggest surprises to both of us as parents was the volume level, and Tim often used to say, "I never knew it would be this loud."

But it is quiet here today, and we are, these days, experiencing quiet of another sort. This quiet is "Woah! Both of them are at after school activities and we have the house all to ourselves!" quiet. And it is good!

Many good things can be said about kid free time you know, but today, we chose to revel in the quiet. Tim is actually asleep right now on the couch and I am quietly typing away. The only sounds are the keys, my thoughts, and the fairly constant blow of forced air heat. No music. No TV. No beeping or buzzing from phones. Just pure, blissful quiet. It will be a short session since, due to the cold, and to the drying nature of said forced air heat, my fingers are a messed up land of cracked winter skin. Then today, my fingers were aggravated even more by the world's worst paper cut, ever, on my right middle finger. Typing is sort of, really, truly, a pain.

But I could not waste this opportunity.
To reset, recharge, regroup.
An opportunity to reflect, on nothing.
A moment to be thankful, for alone together time.
To be thankful for
QUIET.

Whirling Dervish

…and Martin Luther King Jr Day has come again. And we failed to finalize the putting away of Christmas. But alas, many things got in the way. There was, after all, coffee to be drunk, there were instruments to be played, which would be a "task" on a school night, but oddly enough, on a day without structure, were what they should be; things to be played and enjoyed. Laundry was done and groceries were bought, but at the same time magazines were read, and series TV was watched.

In a frantic "what have we REALLY done today, we have a bit of a time table here if we are ever going to eat dinner" frenzy, all four of us just spent the last 30 minutes out in our rather tiny kitchen. In a whirling dervish of sorts, chicken was defrosted, and a squash was cut. Accompanying said culinary pursuits was a Science Olympiad project, mid project, in the middle of the island. Cake was made on the side counter, and a martini on the other side counter. Laundry was switched and changed. And now, after the 30 minute flurry, it is back to fun and leisure.

Somehow it seems, what needs to be done does get done. And on a day off, I am always impressed by what can be accomplished in a flurry of activity, over a short period of time. When leisure and fun are the true objective, work falls to the back burner.

And all that I intend to do in a full day, sometimes in a VERY short period of time, happens.
And that is probably something we should remember everyday.