Flip Flops

Wednesday
The month is nearing a close, and to fulfill my promise to myself, to write two times a month, I am cutting it close. Thing is, though, it is another negative one. Grrrrr. And I am not usually that way, but all I want to do on here right now is gripe, and groan, and complain, and lament how ANNOYING life is right now. I suppose if I were to look back at old blogs, and even old journals and diaries of my youth, it should be no surprise that this time of year is stressful for me. Endings, again, are something that, at a visceral level, I see as a bad thing, and a big ending, the end of school,draws near. You know how they say that even good change causes stress in your life? The end of the school year is like that for me. Yeah, I am excited about it, but it is a lot of work, in a short amount of time, and it is all the work of finishing; not my strong suit. It is also an end for both my kids, and there are finals, and there are projects. Finally, I suppose, there is the fact that, right before my eyes, these two children of mine will age, again. It feels like we just had birthday month, and I just got used to them being another chronological year older. The school year ending now makes them another school year older, and in some ways, I just don't like it. Or at least, it will take some getting used to. Maybe I would be better with year round school. ACK! Did I just SAY that? What is WRONG with me?

Thursday
Well, today I have spent the day home, with a sick kid, yet again. And along with a doctor's appointment, I have also been somewhat deep in thought. And have done a lot of reading. "Self-helpy" kind of reading. Not the reading I usually do. Still, interestingly enough, it seems to have helped. And after a low from yesterday, I am finding a way up and out, or maybe more so, through. The only way out, after all, IS through, and no matter what life has in store I will make my way through. Hmmm, guess I ought to break out the self help books more often. Don't tell Tim or he'll use it against me. "Do you have your period?" will become, "Why don't you go read your self help books?" Either will get him no where.

Friday
OK, it is May 31st and I have to do it. I have to complete this blog. It's time to publish. It sorta seems to have some coherence. And in order to maintain my tentative mental balance that I worked so hard to maintain on Thursday, I have to keep my promise to me. But again, not so much the finisher. And you know, let us note again that it is also the end of the year, and I have nothing left. Nothing. So we have flip flopped that is for sure...from despair, to acceptance, and now to flippant rants. But there it is, there ya go, there's a second blog for May. I did it. Are ya happy? I am. I'm finished.