Funny...wrote this on Tuesday night, but am feeling oh so much more in my summer zen now. Was so out of sorts the last couple of days I couldn't even finish a blog entry! Funny! Oh well, so be the cycles of life. Putting it out there anyways.

Several thoughts are rolling around in my head tonight....summer is so odd that way...summer randomness. I suddenly have time upon time upon time upon time, but with that comes a breakdown of structure, and I find myself feeling lost, like I can't use my time well; like I have a million things I want to do but none really fit the moment.

I am full of contradiction too.

And most of all, none of this is really anything to whine about, I know that, but still, it's the honest truth.

Usually, this week, we are in Ocean City, but this year we put the trip off for a week due to a family wedding. We had our usual 4th of July party, and didn't have to clean up, exhausted, AND pack the next day...which was HEAVEN...but now, I am feeling like I'd kinda like to be at the beach.

Vacation started with a little US time, with the kids down at grandma and grandpa's. Then, they came home last Sunday, and last week was kind of a little "love affair with my family" week, full, in particular, of mother daughter bonding. We fixed up Gwynn's room, shopped, got sucked into old episodes of "Fame," and danced to a new teeny bopper CD she was loving. Still, now, I am feeling kinda over the family love, craving some time alone, and time alone with Tim.

I want to get new cell phones, but can't decide which.
I want to buy an laptop, or maybe an iPad.
I want to rip out/re-do the patio, but not right now, as we're headed away for a week.

Sigh. See. Contradictions. They'll work themselves out, they always do, but early summer ambivalence is here, full force.